I find it interesting that deep down each of us think we own the world. Okay, so maybe i dont speak for all but admit it, the majority of us think we know it all, seen it all.
Consequences and thinking further ahead isnt as easy as some people make it out to be. Its much much easier to think too little ahead or way too much ahead. We just never really hit the spot. So maybe thats just me. I dont know.
Hong Kong the past few days have been tiring. Physically. The constant walking and eating and walking is definitely a change from the sydney activities - walk a little, sit mostly, eat, and repeat.
Spending the day with grandma was interesting. it wasnt exactly what i was expecting at boths ends of the spectrum. It was a little bit out of the spectrum. I dont deny that a part of me wants to spend time around her because i find her tolerable unlike others, her bitchy attitude appeals to me because i see it in me too, sympathy as well since she's driving everyone else away - but most of all is because she is rich, filthy rich. not for being hard working nor smart but because it was her goal and thus married a man about 15 years older than her but rich. So she marries him and not long after he's found himself another female companion while she's stuck with 2 kids. Thats the sympathy part. And because of life shes become self absorbed, loud mouthed and insensitive to other people's emotions and feelings. Thats the bitchy part.
You watch her drive those that she cares most about away because her honesty makes her too much for people to handle. And it makes me wonder; these 2 children are good people. You would what asians would call the golden children. Smart, quiet, beautiful. Weird thing is they barely talk, especially when its family. That and also i dont see how these golden children dont have that sense of responsibility. What makes a person feel that their parent who is growing old is able to take care of themselves completely and its fine to let them live alone in a house with maybe a visit once or twice a week?
On a less serious note, I didnt buy much on the first day or two in HK, then i went shopaholic. I found a prada bag i liked but it was sold out in that shop. It was on discount but still a little bit under 2000$AUD. That was why i hesitated. Half glad half disappointed that i did not buy that bag. Second bag i was interested in was the Agnes B bag. Simple and plain. Both the positive and the negative. Argh what to do,
One thing i realised as i was packing just then was i should have never told people i was going overseas and asked them what they wanted. It takes up luggage space and weight. But because i'm stupid and with that on the same line as generous i asked almost everyone and now i ended up with half a luggage worth of souveniers (bad spelling there).
Will continue later.
Your smile,
contagious, beautiful,
almost a sin.
Your heart,
can not be anymore pure.
Your love,
above heavens touch.
Would it still be the same,
if you had known,
the truth?
Would you still be in arms length,
still the better part of me?
Please, please.
Forgive me,
For the unforgivable.
I'm becoming a better person.
Believe me.
Took a few moments to think of a title. First i want to thanks R for getting me my first (and most likely, only, blackbird fly.)
Its been a long time since i last blogged; realised on my last high school reunion when we got on the subjects of poems and i wanted to show mine off and realised holy shit what happened to blogging.
I can't say much has happened or changed since the last time i was here, but at the same time nothing is really the same.
In terms of uni, placements finally started, cant wait to finish this all in one go. That pain in the ass barrier task report shall be done in the next two weeks before i fly to HK and shop to my hearts content. I have worked 3 days a week just to save for my upcoming shopping spree and to be honest i have never seen my account with higher figures. Considering at one point i was down to my last dollar. Oh the days of waiting every fortnight for centrelink payments. Never again. Wow i just went completely off topic. I was upset when i first saw my timetable, so spread out and classes 4 days. So the medical centre had to make me a one day a week part time worker, and hired a new girl. Then after the first week of uni i realised one of the classes were completely NOT compulsory and infact only 20 seats every week so instead of telling the centre i started working for MC again.
In terms of uni, i pretty much said what i needed to say up there. Its pretty amazing that i've worked at MC for about a year and a half now. I never expected it to be such a place of pleasure and such a family. It was only today that it dawned on me, i've stayed here long enough to watch at least 3 people leave. I've thought about leaving, but there just always seems to be a reason to stay.
In terms of friendships and social circles, nothing much has changed. Met a few new people in the past few months and needless to say new friends are always exciting. But sometimes its weird to become close friends with a new friend. Most of us in the world tend to make friends during primary school, high school, uni, work etc and these become your main source of socialisation and close friendships. However what happens when you meet a friend of a friend that you just click with? is it weird to be closer to this person than your friend. Are you replacing anyone? anyway no specific example or base to this, just simple rambling.
In terms of love, i've gotten quite used to being single. And despite missing that sort of "constant" company i've realised one very important thing; i have absolutely no time for a relationships. Don't get me wrong, i would most likely make time for it, but that would mean sacraficing either uni, work or sleep. It would most likely be sleep. And me lacking in sleep makes me a little crazy. Okay fine, a lot crazy. I usually get my 2 days of sleep in; saturdays and mondays because i have nothing to do and/or i have class late. I missed out on that last week because of CPR and some other crap and so i got moody and sick. The following saturday came, it was a day off and next thing i know i woke up happy and not so sick at 2pm.
Went to the opera house to watch Just For Laughs - Louis CK. A funny man doing crude jokes. He was quite entertaining- and well with the price people paid he better damn well be. I know they have to put in a lot of effort, and i also know they dont do shows that often, but they charge a bit too much in my opinion for a one man show. Or at least i think the audience can be a little tougher just to put some sweat on these- i quote him "Professional assholes". Because honestly all stand up comedy audiences are way too happy. They laugh at every joke thrown at them. I mean i know he's funny, thats why im there, but come on make him work harder!
Nevertheless, good show, good laugh, and good night.
Its been a while since exams, and while beginning of next semester seems like still a distance away, it doesn't seem that far anymore.
After having such a non-busy week right after exams mostly due to insane periods that cramp and are simply just terrible, my holidays are starting to pick up again. In more than one way.
On a creepier note, he has slowly evolved from a admirer to a stalker. Totally do not appreciate, and totally puts me off. Guess i should be blunt towards him in the next few weeks. We'll see.
Recently got to know someone a little better, and developed a minor crush. And to be honest it's kind of new. Haven't really crushed on anyone prior to flirting. Not in the recent years anyway. It's kind of new, kind of exciting, and kind of getting no where. Just like primary school years. Kind of cute. Kinda of sweet. Mostly hopeless romantic stuff.
What else? friends still in love, no one's really broken up. Too bad no one's really getting married. I feel the urge to go to someones wedding. At the age of 20, you don't really expect your friends to be getting engaged and married just yet. But you know in the next few coming years, it's going to happen, really quickly. It's that age of major change where highschool/uni sweethears either decide they've had enough of each other or they want more of each other.
Watched 22 episodes of Vampire Diaries in the last few days at night, until 3 or 4 in the morning. Never again. Seriously. It's not worth it. regret in the morning.
I had coffee gelato a few hours ago and boy it's making me sleepy. Blog another day.
Can it stop hurting?
Like a numbness from within.
Like pins and needles of the heart.
Like all veins became empty.
When that smile becomes a frown.
And that frown becomes a tear.
All i can see are grey clouds.
Rainy days never seemed gloomier.
When did every colour become greyscale?
When did all those smiles become facades?
If only you were transparent.
If only i held the remedy for a lost soul.
If laughter was the answer then why does sadness still linger?
I'll be loving you, breaking dishes.
If this isn't love then sanity is only crazy.
Stop hurting, friend.
So i can feel better again.
hope
love
friendship
sophistication
innocence
tranquility
eternity
nature
x. [<3] tiffany&co necklace
x. [<3] DSLR
x. get my P's
x. small car
x. prince charming
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